Sunday, May 9, 2010

To what extent should parents be held responsible for the actions of their delinquent teenagers?

Whilst parents may like to keep tabs on their kids movements 24/7, it's just not practical or possible. Even if parents think they know all that their kids are getting up to, you can bet that a lot don't know half of it, even though they would probably disagree with this statement.





Unless parents keep kids on an unfeasibly tight rein, or enjoy a very close, open and honest relationship with their child, they are simply not in a position to oversee their actions and influences, and therefore cannot be held responsible for their child's actions.





We are all a product of our environment, and the person we become will be influenced by our family, peers, and experiences. Throughout teenage years, kids are very impressionable.





No matter how hard parents try to bring their kids up as they would like, they cannot be held fully accountable for the actions of a hormone packed teenager, who may be enjoying a new found freedom which in turn opens their eyes to new and exciting experiences, many of which will seem more appealing than studying for exams. For some there will be no end of possibilities which will serve as a welcome distraction from the stresses of studying, or the prospect of pressure to engage in further education or find their own way in the big wide world by getting a job.





The foundations for the basic structure of morality should have been in place for some time at this point, and the type of person the teenager will become will have started to take shape. However, in opposition to this are the various temptations which teenage life inevitably throws up. Many will see other kids doing things and will join in or copy them purely to conform and fit in. It's all about social status within groups. No kid wants to be the outcast, so many will be influenced by what others say and do. Most of this will happen away from the parents, who most often will not get to hear of it.





Once they do hear about things that they disapprove of, it will depend on their approach to tackling the problem, and their relationship and level of communication with their child which determines if they are the overriding influencing factor or not. This is really where the parents come back into the equation, but their ability to do so will rely on their approach during the earlier years of their child's life.





For these reasons, parents can share the responsibility for the actions of their child with the child's peers, although at this point much of their ability to have an influence will have been established long before any of the teenage problems have come to light.To what extent should parents be held responsible for the actions of their delinquent teenagers?
Thank goodness it was an answer like this that won and not some awful hardline authoratarian response that would make you wonder if the answerer was ever a teenager themselves.

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To what extent should parents be held responsible for the actions of their delinquent teenagers?
In an ideal world parents would be responsible for the behaviour of their children. However, many parents themselves have not had stable upbringings and this also needs to be adressed. In reality many families need help to function well themselves. Even then there are children who have been brought up very well and the kids just have it in them to be naughtier than most. These kids should be supported and of course boundaries still given even if they flout them. When they do flout them discuss why they are doing this and what the problems are. Withold treats and pocket money. It is the parents resonsibility to get help if they are finding they are unable to get through to the child and to help to stop their poor behaviour.
Parents can only be so responsible for their children's actions, as at the end of the day ultimately everybody needs to take responsibility for themselves and their own actions. I do feel however that parents are responsible in the early years of their child's life with regards to teaching their children right from wrong and discipline when necessary, most of what children learn is from what they see on an everyday occurrence so the parents need to accept responsibility for the environment and examples that they set and allow their children to grow up in.
yes we are responsible, we have a duty to our kids to teach them how to be adults with all the moral responsibility that requires, this is increasingly more difficult with today's nanny state constantly telling us that we can't discipline our kids as we are infringing on their human rights. I don't agree with child abuse but enforced discipline used in a caring and loving environment should only be encouraged. and if help is needed the government should encourage us all to ask for it, and offer effective help.
To be held responsible you first have to establish that the person is qualified. There is no formal training required to be a parent, and most parents will run their family in much the same way as their parents - do we therefore suggest that grandparents should share some of the responsibility as well?





Bad parenting for the most part is not deliberate, nor is it possible to cure - by the time it is clear that someone is not capable of being a parent it is too late - they have children and their relationships with the children have already been spoiled.





Can we hold teachers/government responsible? How can you teach parenting at school? Do you first ensure that it is only taught by ';qualifed parents';? How do you interest mid-teens in a subject that most hope they will have no use for for at least 10 years, and that will not help them get a job/university place.





Parents cannot be held completely responsible for the actions of their children in isolation from the other external factors. As parents we are continually battered by the media: the majority of television and magazines aimed at teens all promote sex at children for whom it would be illegal, our culture encourages individuality, and removes all cultural and moral framework. Rather than appropriating blame, more time and energy should be spent looking for solutions
to no extent. kids should not have their blame placed on the parent. if the child is thirteen and up, he/she knows what he/she is doing. from 13 up the blame should be put on the child. however, people make mistakes so after the blame and the consequence is over with, they should MOVE ON.
I think parents should be responsible to tell teenagers whats right and wrong.





I strongly believe that if your parents have a strong healthy relationship then that will rub off onto there children.





Sometimes all these so called delinquents need is a little bit of love and attention, maybe we should look to bring back Sunday lunches and make them compulsory for all families.





I had a roast dinner every sunday, no T.V just talking. I was even allowed to have a glass of wine of can of beer even though I was under age. This made me respect drinking alcohol, and guess what, now I hardly ever drink because I don't see alcohol as a way of getting back at my parents for not letting me drink.
Well i think that a parent or parents are responsable for the actions of their children, but to what degree,


well i am not sure on this because





I work with teenagers and sometimes i just don,t now how to advise the parents because they have tried to do everything and


the child just gets more and more out of control, but what i found was that when the parents are saying to the police and lawyers


let him get sent down because he cant do any more damage.


then the judge say no we will give him one more chance and the n quess what he does another crime goes back and gets let off again and again . then when the parents say enough .and through the child out because they can take no more they get told that they bad parents. how much do parents have to take before. something is done , parents cry out for help but some times the system let them down. How much dothey have to take


as parents.





when we was growing up you would not off dared to answer back


or to speak out of turn, see i think that what we have done as a society is said we had such a hard life and up bringing i am not going to do that to my children then all laws changed taking away authority from the school and the parents now this is what we are left with lots of teenagers out of control.


It does not have nothing to do with single mum or dads.





we have all gone to soft and we have no power as parents .


I no that they are parents that take smacking to far.


my generation was one of them .i was brought up the way my dad was in the carribean and they was no holds bard there.





to hold parents responsable could be unfare if a parent has asked and has tried to deal and tackle the problem, making the parents in this kind of situation be ressponsable might be harsh on the parents because they have tried .


then you have the parents that will do anything including lie


for the children. they know the child is in the wrong but will back them up no matter what ,thats wrong they need to be held reposable .





If something happened outside i am not saying my child did not do it unless my child is in my house asat in front of when it happen, when children are out and about they are not angels.


They get up to all kinds of things ,they never think of what if.





just go and sit on a bus that has got school kids on and listen to the conversation it will make your hair stand on end.


parents who don't belive the teacher ,turn up stand outside the classroom and just listen to how children behave, go in as a volunteer go into the classroom see what happens . if more parents did this they would get a real eye opener.I watch how students who normaly so well behaved ,turn in to monsters when they get a supply teachers. they change why.
i think parents are 100 % responsible for their children's actions. the parents should make it a point in explaining to their children as to what the consequences will be. they should explain to their children in an easy way so that the kids can understand. so i think that its the parents responsibility only in letting their children behave in this manner.
yes, they shoud
yes
100 % parents should be blamed completely for their childrens wrongdoing because parents are their role models.....so if kids fail its parents failure to raise their kids
Parents in this day and age should be aware of their DNA. Saying that they should be able to detect signs of how they were as children and be aware of the ever changing culture of teenagers. So much neglect on teenagers happens out of arrogance and this works both ways. When you look at the number of hours a parent spends TEACHING their child it is no wonder why children just run awol! Sadly it is ones work commitments which is the problem. Gone are the days when a kid would run in from school and Mum was trying out a new cookery recipe. Gone are the days when Dad was fixing the car etc. Today time is money and if the kids are around then something is wrong! Parents are not responsible for todays delinquent teenagers, rather the bills one has to pay just to avoid eviction, the cold, starvation. The rat run is the cause, as all teenagers want to do is relate with an older generation and all they have is their teachers at school as they listen and speak because they are PAID to!
I really think it depends on the situation. In some situations, they've either learned bad actions from the parents or haven't been explained to that something is wrong. And some people may think, 'shouldn't the child already know?' Believe me, it's surprising what teenagers do and do not know. And usually because the parents have failed to teach them what is right and what is wrong. Or just assumed the child already knew.


Then in some situations, the child knows exactly what they are doing AND the consequences. They just don't care and should be held responsible.
Parents are responsible for teaching their teens right from wrong but weather the teens choose to listen as they get older is a different story!! Parents have their own lives to live and cannot be at their kids side 24/7. Whai IS important is that parents support autority ie.. if a teacher disciplines their child the parents should respect and support that.
It is up to parents to teach morals and instil values in their children. Teenagers do know right from wrong and are always pushing boundaries (how much they can get away with). If a teenager causes damage to someone elses property or hurts someone or any other criminal activity then they must take responsibility for their actions and face the punishment. Parents could be made to pay the costs (passing this onto their kids by stopping their allowance or pocket money if applicable) and therefore if children are not behaving, then if it hits the parents financially this may cause them to reconsider their own behaviour (accepting no responsibility for their part in teenagers moral values). I know challenging behaviour can be caused by many things but most parents of teenagers I know are pretty sound people and would be horrified if their kids got into trouble or had so little respect for others. I keep my fingers crossed that my own teenagers are pretty decent human beings.
some good parents have delinquent teenagers.some bad parents have wonderful responsible teen ages. bad parents should be held responsible. good parents shouldn't
Well children are made from there parents, and pick up there bad habits. Teenagers are only thought to do what there parent teach them, if parents are really strict with the children then the more the children will want to dis obey rules, but if they don't restrict them enough they also run loose causing all kinds of mayhem.





Parenting is a hard job and should be considered a lot before having a baby. Parents have to teach there kids no to strict but also not to freely, parents no matter how much the love them should let them go at what ever time the child decides they are responsible enough. Holding them under there rules etc means the children will not be in-dependant, and get shyer by the minute, its affect the child a lot even though no one may think it.





The parent should be held responsible for there actions because they only act depending on how they have bought up the child and what circumstances they live in. But in the other hand the child is there own person so they are also responsible for there actions. An even amount of responsibility should be taken by the teenagers and there parents until they move on/out and become really in-dependant with out parenting.
Absolutely totally! They set the role model to their children from the earliest age!
The decision to become a parent should not be taken lightly and one of the end of objectives must be to raise an independent person who knows right from wrong. It is all to easy to blame schools, society etc for the failings of teenage behaviour, but the major part of teaching and ensuring good behaviour in young people must be by the parents. Its not an easy job, but I believe you get out what you put in.
I think that every case should be treat individually, because although everybody seem to think that in all cases parents are sole responsably for teenagers behaviour, I disagree. Often the bad influency comes from the group of friends. Teenagers are very fragile and that is a very insecure age where you are learning who you are and you are becoming who will you be. And in a lot of cases parents haven't got a clue of what is going on in their children's life. If they know they must act. If they know about bad behaviour and they don't move a finger, there is where they should be held responsible for the actions of their delinquent teenagers!


But then...that is just my point of view.
As a parent of 2 boys now aged 23 and 25 who I raised as a single parent, I would say to a degree then parents should be held responsible. If the teenagers have a home where they feel comfortable and able to discuss things and have their mates round then there should be no need for them to become delinquents. I believe delinquency is a cry for attention. I am going to be 50 in a few days time and I was taken out on Saturday evening by my two sons and 12 of their mates who look on me as their 2nd Mum.
To the extent that is justified and fair given the situation the family is in. If for example the parents are absent and have a poor relationship with their child then punishing them however tempting will solve nothing. All you have then taught the child is that somebody else will take the rap for their actions. This is the opposite of what you should be trying to make them understand which is as an adult you are responsible for your own actions and must accept the consequences that follow. However ignoring the parents completely and considering only the child possibly means ignoring one of the major contributors to the child's behaviour. The question is too open, the answer can only be that it depends on many factors. In my opinion there will be few occasions where punishing a parent for the actions of their child would achieve the aim of making the bad behaviour less frequent.
Parents can only guide their children as they are their own people. They are there to teach them right from wrong as babies are a clean canvas. The environment in which they are raised does have an effect on them in thier teenage years. I hung out with a good group of girls and I did the odd 'naughty' thing but it made me realise later on how I should live my life. My brother went through a bad patch of underage drinking and getting into trouble with the police but he got married in his mid twenties, has a good job and looks after himself and his wife. My two children will be bought up similar to me, if they do wrong they will be punished but I will bring them up to respect other people and their property and work with thier school to ensure that they are kept in line, hopefully this will guide them to be good solid members of thier community.





The loud yobbish parents that want to go to the school to punch the teachers lights out because thier kid was shouted at in school for being naughty or rude are the ones that need to be put in school to learn effective parenting skills. What are they teaching thier children by doing that?





Maybe then thier children will grow up to be more respectful.
Yes they should, because quite often they are the parents who are not there as they should be . i have 3 teenage children one is a problem but we deal with these issues, why should he rule us. we listen to him advise him and punish him by grounding him or taking away priveledges. it is a part of his personality and that part we accept. but we reward good behaviour and he knows that. he doesnot go with out but is certainly not rewarded for his bad behaviour.


he shoplifted so we asked the shop to ban him and they did, as it is our local shop his friends use it and when he is with them he has to explain why he is not allowed in there


it is the only shop between home and school. he has learnt and seems to understand our reasons. we have two rules in our house which are dont lie or steal thats all and they know that.


if they go out and dont come back on time , the next time they want to go we dont allow it.


if they are late from school we ask why. alot of there friends parents dont bother.


when they leave the house you have enough to worry about like there safety peadophiles ect. they understand it is because we care that we set these rules. It would be a frightning thought to leave your child to roam the street and the one day they dont come home


i expect them to be polite to other adults and not to bully people and all of them can stand up for themselves, they are not bullied at school, and know that they will recieve my full support if someone hits them and they hit back. I would support them 100% but not if they look for trouble
Poorly put question!





I don't like the word 'delinquent'. Its old fashioned and inappropriate.





I agree parents should take responsibility for all of their children for all of their young lives. Those that choose to have children should be fully aware and understand the huge, huge amount of work and effort that goes into bringing up children and if they cannot manage then don't have kids or accept the responsibility of their actions.
I believe that parenting is all about teaching your children to become good adults. They must respect there elders, protect the youngsters and support there peers. Often children鈥檚 behaviour is seen as being delinquent when really it is just children being children. I do not believe that it is solely down to the parents to control there child鈥檚 behaviour. I think often the community builds children up to fail and does not support children in this fast moving society. Every body has got to learn by there mistakes that includes adults and children.
Parents do bear some of the responsibility, particularly if they fail to be consistent re. acceptable behaviour. However, there comes a time when peer pressure assumes priority. As a mother, and a grandparent raising two granddaughters, I feel it is a minefield out there.
Any child's learning must surely start at home but too often young parents think they can leave it to the schools to teach them how to behave. So for the first 4 or 5 years they let their child get away with saying the word no, then when too many years have past they can't understand why they can't control their child.


I have even heard of young parents saying ';I don't know what to do, nobody teaches you how to be a good parent';, I'm sorry but that is just a cop-out.


Parents should take the brunt of responsibility from the onset.
DELINQUENT TEENAGERS, OR DISFUNCTIONAL PARENTS, FROM A GIMMEE GIMMEE CULTURE.





Parents today are not concerned with the education of their own children, they are to busy in there own lives, we are turning into a culture of consumers, all waiting for the next best thing to outdo the jones'es. The new culture should be respect and manners, and this starts from us all by having a look at what we have become, they re not delinquent teenagers, we are delinquent adults still involved with childish product and material wealth, instead of educating our future leaders and pillars of society.





cheers pete
If the Parents won't teach kids right from wrong, they should both be executed. Or at least beaten %26amp; jailed.


What ever happened to using the stocks.....


:::Waits for flames:::

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